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For those of you who are not sure if you are in the friend zone, here are some helpful hints. Don't be in denial about being in it either. The sooner your realize it, the sooner you can escape the friend zone.

1. Know the language

What does this mean? She wants to set the boundaries of her connection to you by letting you know that you are a friend, a bro, or a bestie. She is neutral with her language which could be intentional or non-intentional. She might like you but she does not want to risk the friendship in which she is very comfortable in.

It can be complicated to understand the language of women when it comes to friendship and romance. They sometimes are very subtle and some times, quite vulgar and will make you feel that you do not stand a chance with them on a romantic relationship.

Learn how to listen to the cues. If a woman calls you a best friend, a good friend, buddy or other terms of endearment that are neutral or similar to what she calls her brother, then you should take the hint.

She always makes it neutral when she talks to you or when she talks about something romantic, it is always about another person, a movie, a novel or some other thing except you. When she talks about romance, you might feel awkward and confused, and often times, that is just how a guy in the friend zone often feels.

2. Too comfy to tell about issues at work, or worse, other men

She has become too comfortable with you about the most random things and she is not willing to be romantic with you. She could still get attracted to you but she is not willing to open Pandora's Box. She might also have another love interest and is oblivious about your feelings.

She might be interested about talking to you about many things: in fact, far too many things. Some discussions could be nice discussions over tea or lunch, or even a snack, but never discussions worthy of being discussed over dinner or breakfast. She talks about the bitch at work or at school, or if she found a nice piece of furniture or a handbag.

She is also more than happy to spill some beans about some family gossips. In the most blatant case of friend zone, the girl might even talk to you about other men.

She is very neutral when it comes to discussions about relationships. She talks about men opposite your qualities and she deviates from discussions that could pertain to both of you getting romantically linked.

3. She becomes way too comfortable

There is too much comfort, meaning no sexual tension between the two of you. She is not challenged by you mentally and emotionally. She became too comfortable since you did not set boundaries as to what your friendship actually meant.

You made her unreachable on her friendship pedestal that she could not get out of that mentality. You have set the boundaries by giving in to her wants and needs and that left you with nothing more but the friendship that you cherished too much.

• She is willing to invite you to her home or apartment with your friends and family knowing about it. You are her best friend, and you will definitely not do anything crazy or weird. That is what she thinks, and what others think.
• She does not mind if you see her face half made up or her hair in rollers. She does not mind that she is not yet perfect for the occasion and she sees you. It is not that she does not care about her looks. She just does not care how you would react anyway.
• Nevertheless, she also does not mind getting praises from you. She wants you to see her in her dress before she gets out of the house for the night out.
• She also does not mind telling you that she is grumpy because she has her period and would appreciate if you would hang out and accompany her while she vents her emotional drama. You are her "friend" anyway so you are obliged to be her best friend during the hormonal moments of her life.
• She invites you to a movie night and sits at the other end of the sofa or the other end of the room. She likes you around, but not too close for you to think of some crazy thing.

4. She cares too much about the friendship

She feels like you have been a precious person to her life equal to that of a best girlfriend. She is not willing to shift her feelings since her perception of you might change.

• When you bring up your emotions or she is getting a hint of what you want to tell her, she brings up the friendship statements.

1. I don't want to risk our friendship
2. You are like a brother to me
3. You are such a precious dear friend and I would never want that change ever.

• She makes you feel like are always part of the group and that means she is not interested about being intimate. She also dismisses jokes and laughs about it in front of you.

5. She could be just leading you on

This is common amongst attractive and charismatic women. She looks beautiful and you might think that she is attracted to you since she is being nice to you. When a pretty woman becomes too nice to you, a man might feel that she is trying to reach out to him in a much deeper level when in fact, she might just be very nice or sympathetic about you.

In certain cases, they do this to boost their ego or just have a little fun which is not fair to those guys who might be really feeling something much deeper than that. If you are in that situation, it would be best to move on. To find out how to turn the tables, you can always try and make her jealous, this might work for your situation.

6. You become the stereotypical "nice guy"

Women pass up on men who are easily controlled and are too giving. How can you give them any emotional or sexual tension if you do not set boundaries? If you give too much and offer it to that girl like she is the only woman in the world, she will easily get bored and unchallenged.

Being a nice guy is not a bad thing, but always keep a layer of mystery and appeal so that if you approach a woman, she will feel that she needs to know more about you way beyond the friend zone.

The friend zone is something that men experience every now and then but it can get difficult to get out of that rut if you are too attached to your emotions for that person. You should not feel like you are a loser if you have been friend zoned.

Sometimes, it just happens. You have to learn from your mistakes and experiences and become more aware about what women desire from a man whom they want to get serious with. It is always about the tension, the push and pull, giving something, but always leaving a mystery. Being nice, but also hinting a more interesting for her to explore. Sharing, but not giving everything to her.

One of the ways I know I need to change is when I find myself thinking thoughts in a certain way for an extended time, or I think pretty much the same types of thoughts over and over, but none of this thought activity moves me forward or causes me to feel the way I desire to. This is especially true when it involves another person's behaviors that I feel a challenge, contrast, or conflict with, and wish they'd change so I could feel better. What about you? What do you do that leads you to see the most obvious and first change to make is in you?

One of the first things we could, should, or would change is our thoughts; and fortunately for us, since we're the only ones who have them, we can address them. That random thoughts will happen spontaneously is a given. Trying to control or stop this fact is a waste of time. But you can transmute thoughts, that is redirect them, once they happen, which takes practice.

However, it's important that you distinguish between thought contemplation based in a genuine desire to solve, resolve, or improve and negatively dwelling on or harping on a matter, the latter being a thought activity that will never get you to where you want to be: peaceful, no matter what.

You're going to interact with, or live with, people whose behaviors could be improved; and others will feel the same about you. When someone's behavior triggers you out of your serenity and joy, your quickest way back to those feelings is to change something in or about you, starting with your attitude, mindset, or perspective, and followed by constructive or productive words and/or actions, or even appropriate silence and inaction at times.

You could say a good goal is to stay in peace and in trust in the Universe (though, this is more than a mere goal, it's a desirable way to be); but the words "stay in" puts you on the spot: Who can stay in that mindset all the time? However, as I said a moment ago about thoughts, you can transmute and redirect negative energies that surface in you, which will take practice. And this is a worthy practice because your peace and trust in the Universe are the fastest pathways for the Universe to rebalance what you perceive as having gone off-center in you and your life, in accordance with how Law of Attraction is designed to work, and does.

It's not always necessarily a simple matter to return to peace and trust once triggered by someone or an event, but it is doable. What is also doable is to practice peace and trust in the Universe before you're triggered. It's like that old saying, "A stitch in time saves nine." If you practice on smaller annoyances, you begin to fine-tune yourself for if or when larger ones come along. None of this means you deny, suppress, or never share what you feel; it's about what you do with and about your emotions that surface as a result of your feelings, and your beliefs.

When you think about seeking or having peace, you may think of a quiet place like an isolated beach or an ashram, or a walk in nature, or eliminating every annoying person or matter from your life. However, there are other ways to seek and create peace that we may not as readily think about: assessing and modifying some of our behaviors. Here are some general behaviors some may want to look at:

-Any of your behaviors that consistently trigger or annoy someone or a number of others in a not-good way.

-What you say and/or do in a consistent manner that doesn't cause you to feel good or better about yourself, others, and any aspect of your life or life in general.

-You're always, nearly always, or far too often for your own good, in a negative mood or mindset.

-You consider yourself superior to all or certain others, which always results in your mistreatment of them, and their subsequent mistreatment of you.

-You expect and wait for anyone or anything to change, to please your ego-based needs and desires, before you feel good or happy. Note: I'm addressing ego-based needs here, not realistic or practical needs, or behavior anomalies that require real internal or external adjustment for the well-being of those involved.

-You consistently practice negative levels of gossip or complaining (which is not the same as productive venting to an appropriate listener).

-You're free with criticism and opinions, whether or not you're asked for these, and deliver them in ways that are non-supportive and don't encourage the understanding, illumination, or improvement you desire.

-You get angry fast and often, and "go in with gloves on" rather than pick your battles, and pick a more appropriate time to address them.

-You practice payback or revenge.

-You practice unusual, non-productive, or harmful levels of self-condemnation.

-You base your self-worth on anyone or anything external to you, and forget or ignore that you are an expression of the Universe.

-You believe you have to do everything about or in your life, and don't include the Universe as your partner.

What you see in the above list are behaviors or practices that, if we changed or adjusted enough to not do them or not do them the same way or as often as we do, we would experience more peace. There are two ways to seek peace: where you receive (like sitting on a quiet beach or having a serene hour alone or getting a massage) and where you give yourself and others a more pleasant, peaceful experience by modifying your own behaviors that don't serve you (or them) in a good way. These are changes you can assess the need for then follow through on with practice.

We all deal with the need or necessity of change differently, especially when it's a change in us that's needed. Here are some very generalized descriptions of how five behavior types may approach a need for change.

1. Aggressive types will use coercion, force, verbal abuse, and/or physical abuse against others. But, they won't necessarily recognize their aggressions as such; or if they do recognize them, they may decide they are justified. They may think this is the way to get things done the way they want them to be done: the end justifies the means. They believe little to nothing needs to change about them.

2. Passive-Aggressive types will resist doing what they need to do or what others need or ask them to do, especially if the request is demanding or authoritative. They may toss out "zinger" statements to make someone feel guilty because they are uncomfortable speaking their truth in a better way. They believe guilt will show (or force) others the errors of their ways; and they'll mope and sulk until the change they desire is obvious and consistent. They control others, or attempt to, by making them feel at fault for how unhappy they feel.

3. Passive types will fold their energy up like a telescope, and offer no resistance. They suppress the bad feelings they have, but they have them in spades. Passivity, though, lasts for only so long before the person opts for another behavior to release the pressure that's built up. This is because they are not actually easy-going (a very different mindset), but one of the other types above in disguise.

4. Assertive types look for ways to collaborate or compromise. They speak out and they listen to what others have to say. They're ready to take needed action, and take it. As long as they don't cross over into aggressive behaviors, they stay in the "assertive" zone. They do what they can to accomplish what they set out to do, and often feel confident about decision-making. They tend to encourage, guide, or mentor others.

5. Spiritual types observe what's going on. They ask themselves and/or the Universe for right questions then seek and ask right questions of others. They ask and trust the Universe to show others, as well as themselves, adjustments that need to be or could be made, rather than charging into battle about matters. Their mantra for more complicated circumstances (and life) is, "I may not know how or when this will be taken care of, but I know the Universe is working on it." They pay attention to signals from the Universe about how and when they should take certain actions. They mostly stay in, or return to, peace and trust more easily, based on experience and lots of practice. They tend to be more easy-going than other types because of this.

The first three types above are examples of unskillful behaviors, which can be transmuted into skillful ones with guidance and practice. And all five types have "shades," as well as "flavors" of skilled and unskilled aspects. Also, under certain circumstances, any of us might display behaviors from the five types: we may desire to be skillful at all times, but find this isn't always the case. But with practice, we can always improve our ratio of skillful-to-unskillful behaviors.

When we don't observe our own behaviors through the appropriate lens, we miss opportunities to choose ways to have and be the feelings we desire most. Look back at the list of behaviors to consider, and perhaps add your own. Look back at the five behavior types and see which one is your current predominant style and which one you'd prefer to be your predominant style. Be honest, and kind, with yourself as you do this. Always aim at making choices that keep you in integrity and encourage you to do your best and feel your best in any given moment, even if you slip or trip up first. It's a good practice, one you'll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

I find a number of people that they find it difficult to speak to anyone at any place the following can be some reasons

1. Not feeling confident of themselves
2. Fear of making a mistake
3. Fear of others mood
4. Not having the right content to speak

But, the fact is nobody is ever interested what you speak and how you speak unless it hurts their feelings or it is a matter sarcasm.Now to tackle this problem of fear to talk one can follow the following tips.

1. Always have some knowledge relavant to the person you are speaking to. Whether it is your CEO also you dont have to worry if you have a proper reason to speak
2. Always have funny content in your mind like jokes. just relate any joke with the current context.
3. do not criticize or comment at others.
4. Try to develop a friendly nature with who ever you speak. specially, if he is your colleague sitting next to you.

Remember, be patient to listen to others, and encourage others to speak about themselves and trying to beat your trumpets all the time.

And finally try to have a positive set of mind, and have some motivational stories with you, people listen to such stories interestingly whether they follow or not.

You can also equip yourself with some thriller and horror stories which can be a useful entertainment when sitting in a group.

You can always go through some self motivation websites so that you can develop some positive attitude and some motivational quotations which gives some weight to your personality.

Is this condition inevitable? Are we destined to an environment where the most we have to look forward to is Friday afternoon? Not at all. There are specific steps that can betaken to begin to reclaim some of the enthusiasm, some of the air of celebration and some of the fundamental respect for individual human dignity that is apparent within flourishing business organizations or on championship teams:

1. Don't take it personally

Given the dysfunctional communication strategies demonstrated by most adults, repressed anger and upset are frequently brewing just beneath the surface within many individuals. Their angry and offensive outbursts have little or nothing to do with any occurrence in the present moment. Some unresolved upset from the past has simply been triggered and bursts forth in an inappropriate manner.

Under such circumstances does it make sense to take another's outburst personally? Logically, the answer is no. Taking someone else's anger personally is insane because it simply never is a personal phenomenon. This is not to say, however, that it is easy tore main calm in the face of another persons' anger, recognizing that it is not personal. It is never easy, but armed with this insight you can begin to develop an ability to stand firmly in the face of another's upset without taking it as a personal attack.

2. Listen with compassion

Life is a difficult and challenging enterprise for everyone, and this fundamental truth goes largely unrecognized. Given this knowledge, rather than reacting to someone's anger or upset, it is possible for you to deeply appreciate his or her feelings and experience. Rather than reacting to someone's anger or upset, it is useful and necessary for you to demonstrate empathy. Remember, there but for the grace of God go I.

3. Just hear the communication

In order to lessen tension within the workplace, it is necessary to provide a safe environment for open, honest communication. Get people to talk about what is going on with them, to describe their present experience, and then just listen. Don't respond. Don't offer advice. Don't try to console. Just listen with compassion and understanding. In the vast number of cases, quiet and attentive listening will allow the upset to disappear.

4. Give up the need to be right

For most human beings, the necessity to be right, the unconscious desire to win is all important. This drive is expressed with employees, coworkers and even with family. Individuals are reduced to objects, and friends and family are sacrificed simply to preserve an egocentric point of view. We would rather be right, would rather win the argument than coexist happily, but being right and being happy are mutually exclusive.

5. Look for the best in people

Attention on oneself caused by one's own sense of insufficiency drives people into competition with one another and creates a bias toward critical, negative analysis of another in order to enhance one's own social standing and appearance. We literally look for the worst in others in an attempt to conceal or dilute our own self-perceived shortcomings by comparison.

In order to counter this seemingly natural tendency, learn to look for and expect the best in all coworkers and become everyone else's greatest fan. What is it about each individual that makes him or her a valuable contribution to the company? Who are these people really, and what are their best attributes and strengths?

6. Acknowledge people

Everyone craves positive attention, for most individuals live with a sense of insufficiency and of their own shortcomings. Look for opportunities to acknowledge coworkers. What positive impact are they making on the company? Acknowledge people for doing a good job, for making a deadline, for keeping their promises. Acknowledge them for their appearance, for the way they manage their workload, or for the way they treat others. Always remember to keep it authentic and sincere, and look for and find numerous opportunities to thank people for the many large and small contributions that they make to the company.

7. For give others

Given the unconscious desire to win at all costs and the necessity to be right, we tend to hold on to every injustice, every wrong, every resentment and every regret. What often goes unnoticed is that un-forgiven resentments must always be suppressed, managed or controlled. They arise again and again whenever the person who is the object of the resentment comes into the room or is mentioned in conversation. What makes matters worse is that the suppressed anger also arises whenever any similar instance resembles a past transgression. Resentments divert attention, breed gossip and provoke physical illness.

For your own sanity, it is critically important to forgive others. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness does not deny the inappropriate nature of another's acts; it does not condone or tolerate future abuse, but in forgiveness, in giving up the resentment and the right to punish, you are left with serenity, freedom and peace of mind.

8. Communicate upsets

Human beings live in the illusion that unexpressed anger, upset and disappointment will simply disappear over time. Nothing could be further from the truth. Like resentments, unexpressed upsets inevitably arise again and again. They divert your attention and sap energy. Moreover, unfulfilled expectations, thwarted intentions and undelivered communications - the stuff of which upsets are made - provide the evidence by which other individuals are tried and sentenced. Only communication can provide salvation for continued viable and productive relationships.