What is one of the fears that you probably have if you are hoping to be able to patch things up with a woman you used to date? Probably that she is in a relationship with a new guy and you don't really have a chance to be able to reconcile with her. That just happens to be one of the issues that you are going to have to realistically deal with and how you handle a situation like this is going to determine whether or not you ever do get that chance to patch things up or if it will just remain as something that you would like to be able to do.
So, what if you want to patch things up with a former girlfriend but you find out that she is dating someone else?
You might be tempted to see if there is anything that you can do to break them up, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. Just because it is tempting to do that, it doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do and it doesn't mean that it is going to help you out any. The first thing that I would recommend is that you get in touch with her just to see how she sounds when she hears your voice again. You want to be able to see if she is surprised in a good way to hear from you or she sounds like she would have liked it if you didn't try to get back in touch with her. If she does seem to be happy that you are trying to get back in touch, you want to then get an idea on whether or not she is really happy in her new relationship.
This is important because if you can sense that she isn't really that happy or that she isn't really that serious about this new guy she happens to be dating, it could very well mean that you DO have an opportunity to try and reconnect with your ex girlfriend in a way that could eventually lead to you and her getting back together. If you do find out that there is some hope even though she is dating a new guy, you want to take things slow with her. You don't want to come across like your only goal is to break her and her new boyfriend up. That's not going to leave a good impression on her and you do want her to have a good impression of you.
You also want to be careful not to get too friendly while she is still seeing this guy, because that can have a way of making you seem more like a friend type to her and that is not the way that you want her to see you if your ultimate goal is to get back together with your ex girlfriend. You want to keep in touch to see if she becomes available and so that she keeps you in mind, but you don't want to be in touch so frequently that she begins to think of you as that guy friend she gossips with, but doesn't want to date.