Back by popular demand, and because if I watch one more reality show I'm going to blow up, I bring you, More Funny Questions About Life. Yes, it's time once more to pretend you're doing your work while reading these senseless, questions that have no purpose or redeeming value what so ever. The good news however, is that they contain absolutely no saturated fats and are loaded with vitamin B12. Ready? Here we go!
Funny - humorous - mildly amusing Questions 1: What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? How do deer know to cross at that yellow deer crossing sign? If a cow could laugh, would milk come out of it's nose? When French people swear, do they say, "pardon my English"?
Comical - weird - witless Questions 2: How fast do hot cakes really sell? Why is the word abbreviation such a long word? How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges in it? Do fish get cramps after eating?
Ridiculous - zany - laughable Questions 3: Why do they call those small candy bars 'fun size"? Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a large one? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the slowest time of the day for traffic called rush hour? If stocks go down any further shouldn't they change the name from Wall Street to Wall Mart Street?
Even more funny - giggle proof - joke filled Questions 4: Why do banks chain down the pens but keep the doors unlocked? Pineapple. No pine, no apples. What's up with that? Why do drive up ATM machines have braille number pads? If you eat pasta and then eat anti-pasta, will you still be hungry?
Wry - slapstick - side splitting Questions 5: Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why could the Mission Impossible people always solve the mission? Why do they report power outages on TV?
Zany - laughable - tongue-in-cheek Questions 6: Is there another word for thesaurus? Why is lemon juice made with artificial ingredients while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why do some water bottles have ingredients listed on them? Why do they put a post office box outside a post office if you're already there?
Even more funny - ridiculous - nonsensical Questions 7: Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Who shuts the bus door when the bus driver gets off? Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours? Why do bags of nuts have "may contain nuts" printed on them?
Now some of these you may have heard before and some may be brand new. But no matter what your opinion might be, that was about three minutes of your life you'll never get back. Still, I hope you enjoyed More Funny Questions Of Life. Look for Part Three coming to an internet near you. For more entertainment, please re-read, laugh, and repeat. That's it for now. I'm not kidding. Really. Elvis has left the building.