If you are considering asking out someone that you work with you are not alone. In a recent study conducted by the Vault.com It was found that almost 60% of those surveyed had participated in some form of workplace romance. Because you are around your co workers all day, often is situations that require trust and co-operation, it is not surprising that romance blossoms. There is also something irresistibly intriguing about the possibility of sleeping with someone that you have seen every day at work.
A word of caution office relationships can get you in trouble. The last thing you want is to find out that you are being investigated for sexual harassment. A good rule of thumb is that if the woman you are hitting on is at the same level or senior to you its probably going to be OK. Problems typically occur when the woman you ask out reports directly to you. With women increasingly obtaining senior positions this should still leave you with plenty of opportunity, and hey, it might help your career!
So if you have decided that are going to turn up the heat in the office you will want to be good at it. Here is what every guy should know about attracting women at work.
Don't Surprise Her
The last thing you want to do is after Monday morning meeting say "Guess what Lisa, I think you're hot, want to go out with me sometime?" This is a recipe for disaster and rejection. Instead you need to make sure that you slowly build up the sexual tension. When you do get to the point of asking out, she should be expecting something to happen.
One of the things that unites people is the idea of Us vs. Them. If you think about your friends or past lovers you will know this to be true. You will have in jokes where you only need to say a couple of words for the other person to get the joke. You need to develop the same sort of relationship with the woman that you want to ask out. The workplace is rife for opportunities to create in jokes and harmless gossip about some of your other co-workers stranger traits. And try passing notes, it may seem a little childish, but it helps reinforce the idea that you two have secrets.
Get Her Out Of The Workplace
Workplaces are generally not particularly sexy environments and not the kind of place she will associate in her mind with romance. Before you make a move you need to change up the environment. This is not as hard as it sounds. Next time you are going out with your other co-workers for drinks after work, ask her to join you. Or if you over hear that she is going to be a certain club that weekend you could "accidentally" run into her.
OK, so now you have her out of the workplace, but what is your next move? You need to move her to another location where the two of you can be alone. There are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly it will give you a chance to make your move. Secondly there is a psychological shift that goes on her mind when they two of you go somewhere else. Now you are in date mode. An easy way to do this if after you have met her at the club or bar say something like "It's really noisy here, I know this cool little bar/cafe near here, I think you would really like it" You should have of course this place planned ahead of time.
Asking Her Out
Now that you have her alone you can do one of two things. If you feel she is responding well but perhaps not ready to get physical you can suggest something else that you could do together sometime, like going to a photo exhibition or a cool Japanese fusion place you know about. Then ask for her phone number if you don't already have it. However if you have had a few drinks, and the feeling is right, go for the kiss.
Of course there is the possibility something will go wrong and she might turn you down. But better to take your chance and fail than to be left wondering what could have been.